This is one my favorite Interweb articles ever. It's pretty old, but knowing some of you don't have the Internet experience I do, you might've missed it. Check it out. It's awesome.

Reading this, you'll also know why I think super-articulate action figures are super awesome.

Hank is playing this game called "Pro-PAIN!" like that. He plays as an propane salesman...and essentially is a simulator...with GTA elements thrown in...actually, it's nothing like being a propane salesman. But it looks hilariously awesome.

HAHAHA, and it's also ONLINE. A bunch of propane salesmen beating the crap out of other propane salesmen. I would totally pay for this online game if it were real.

My family said they were going to the lake. My mom asked me if I wanted to go. I said "No" because I didn't think going to the lake would be fun or anything. All my mom said after that was "Don't eat the chocolate."

But anyway, I just found out that they took all the food worth eating with them: the loads of crawfish and rice. WTF?! They didn't tell me they were bringing all the food there with them! All they left me was a half-eaten burger from hours ago with a napkin stuck INSIDE of it. Ugh. -_- I'm hungry, and I'm pissed. And that's an understatement. I am really really really mad because of this. And I'm starving...

This crap always happens! There's never anything to eat but cereal and ramen...and I'm tired of ramen, and I don't eat cereal!

I'm trying to find money to go to Braum's or something...

I know Chuck Norris facts are old hat, but everytime I see something about it, I'm enraged. Chuck Norris facts are Vin Diesel facts with Chuck Norris's name in Vin's place. I'm not joking either. This is how it was. I have no idea why Chuck Norris took off as a fad and Vin didn't.

And this "facts" fad is one of those rare Internet memes that transcended the Internet, and ended up being quoted in real life. NON computer geeks were talking about Chuck Norris facts. Figures that they'd only be talking about butchered Vin Diesel facts.

Vin Diesel is the alpha and the omega. Chuck Norris is some lame, random letter. Vin Diesel > Chuck Norris.

Heh, you all know I hate Sony, and I'll bash them for almost anything, but there's one thing that's been going around that people are bashing Sony for, but I'm praising them for it. Apparently, to promote God of War 2, they had this party and cut a goats head off. And they had a contest to see who could eat the most offal (whatever the hell that is) from the goat's stomach. They also had boobies, grapes, and a guy dressed as Kratos. That is one badass party.

But people are crying in outrage against this. WTF? C'mon...it was a goat. And it was already dead. They said they got the goat from a butcher. It's not like they took a live goat from somewhere and decapitated it just for the hell of it.

I guess another reason I'm okay with this is 'cause of my culture. My family kills pigs and goats and cooks 'em up for some eatin' all the time! They even drink the damn blood! Yeah, sick, huh? :P

I just got a few more Dead Rising achievements today. I've only got four more left, and they seem to be the hardest ones: Saint (save 50 survivors), Transimissionary (answer all of Otis's calls), 5 day survivor (survive 5 days in infinity mode), 7 day survivor (survived 7 days in infinity mode).

I'm not sure if I'll tackle these achievements or not. If I do, Saint is going to make me want to kill everyone ever because the survivor AI is SO stupid. >< And I'm scared to play infinity mode, plus I can't save it that mode, so if I die on the 4th day...yeah, that'd suck big time.

To show you all how awesome LUE is, here's a few topics from the lovely place:

- Would you sex a girl with tarantulas for hands?
- I wrote a poem about Mr. Owl being forced to lick, not bite, by that little kid
- Kipi is the hotest cosplayer evar. I want to do disgusting things to her. (PICS)
- New wang like planet discovered.
- I just MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI!
- ****OFFICIAL Macaroni and Cheese Topic****
- I hate when singers increase the number of syllables in a word.
- The ice cream truck broke down in front of my house!
- If you could have an GIANT version of an insect as a familar, what would it be?
- 2,000 Japanese women buy lambs, believing them to be rare poodles
- I ****ing hate Golbat.
- Who would win in a fight: A grizzly bear, or a silverback gorilla?
- LUE has ruined my life

There are a lot more cool stuff on there, but they're held within other random topics, I don't wanna go digging through them all.

Forget the emo stuff. Zombies are cool. If there was a zombie outbreak in Paris, that'd be awesome. LOLZ, j/k. That would suck. =[

Uh-oh...it's starting again. I'm having...emotions. Yup, this is gonna suck for a while. I was doing just fine 'til recently. Be prepared. I might start going all emo with my blogging or something.

Or maybe I'll get lucky and something good will happen with it, or maybe I'll just stop having emotions altogether again. Cool.

'kay, I obviously changed the layout again. I'll probably change a few things about it again, as some things don't sit well with me, but you probably won't notice. The site should also center correctly in IE now, too.

I've been doing stuff, by the way. Yesterday was Ashley's surprise birthday party(I don't know how to spell her last name, so I'm not going to attempt to). I attended and it was cool, I guess. I watched Shaun of the Dead for the first time. It was...short. Yeah. XD @ "zed". Crazy Brits/rest of the world.

I've been playing Ouendan on Insane now. I'm up to the last three songs, which were bitches on Normal and Hard, and to stay true to that, they're bitches on Insane. ><

And, uh...I guess I'm working on a few more achievements in Dead Rising.

Pokémon? Yeah, I'm still grinding, I guess. Still only have 2 badges, but I've got my Turtwig to its final evolution. Yeah, this is normally how I play Pokeymans. I remember I had a Charizard by the time I fought Lieutenant Surge in Red.

And...hmm...not much else that I can think of. I'm hoping to get the Video Games Live stuff sorted out this weekend and get the tickets. I guess I'll bump that up here again.

I got tired of looking at the OS X layout.

Bump! I thought of a new name. It's in bold down there.

I'm posting this here for future reference. I will one day own a cat, and I'm going to name it something badass and awesome, to reflect how badass and awesome it will be.

Cat names:

Beowulf
Star Destroyer
Sun Crusher
Captain Falcon
Leonidas
Yggdrassil
Ulyaoth
Kratos
Optimus Prime
Megatron

I'll add more to this as I think/remember badass names.

I just beat Ouendan on Hard mode...and, yes, Ready Steady Go is easier on Hard than Normal...or maybe I've just gotten much better. Whatever.

But, HOLY CRAP, Insane mode is hard...all the hit markers are smaller and further apart from each other, so they're harder to spot...plus they show up later, so you pretty much have to KNOW where they are. You can't just find them.

I should probably put this on GameJar, but I don't feel like updating that, and I don't think anyone clicks there anyway.

That's an anagram for "Gregory House." Now guess what I'm watching right now.

Dead Rising Mega Man footage. I made this to celebrate my earning of the Real Mega Buster and killing of 53,594 zombies.

This is my first "serious" video, with some better than lazy editing...I tried to get the action to sync up with the music, but I got lazy again, and only had a limited amount of footage to work with.

And to avoid making another post, I bought Pokémon Pearl today. I'm not sure why. Dillon also let me borrow FFXII. So I've got 3 RPGs to play: Paper Mario, Pokémon, and Final Fantasy XII. And I might continue playing Dead Rising for a few more achievements.

We seriously need to get this planned out and get tickets ASAP, before they're sold out. So I'm gonna contain all the information I know about it here...

Event: Video Games Live

Date: Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Time: 7:30 PM or 8:00 PM

Location: Meyerson Symphony Hall
Street: 2301 Flora St.
City/Town: Dallas, TX

Seating: Orchestra Terrace (45 dollars)
Tickets: Apparently, you're all gonna give me (J.R.) the money, and I'll order the tickets, that way we get seats together or something.

Confirmed Attendees:
No one has tickets yet!

Possible Attendees:
J.R.
Daniel
Dillon
Zac
Tori

If you wanna add to this, or know someone else that wants to go or whatever, leave some comments or e-mail me.

Fact #1: GameFAQs is full of fanboys

Every game board on GameFAQs pisses me off thanks to all the fanboys and trolls. The only board that doesn't piss me off is LUE, because no new idiots can get it, it's always the same idiots, and these idiots are grown up and a bit more mature.

Seriously, though. I frequent the Wii board on GameFAQs, and I have no idea why. You have people there that insist every game for the Wii is a good game. And there's this stupid "GRAPHICS DON'T MATTER" mentality with the majority of users (fanboys) there. I'm no graphic whore, but to say they don't matter is stupid. Most of the users there will settle for "just enough", encouraging lazy developers. Me, I want the developers to work their asses off to excel in every single area they can when making a game. I don't want them working on the gameplay, then half-ass the graphics. That's stupid and lazy.

And the fanboys also do other stupid stuff, like defend friend codes. That right there is proof that these people are not sane.

Fact #2: YouTube is full of idiots

I was gonna put something else as number two, but I forgot what I was gonna put...but this is a good substitute.

Now, when I refer to YouTube idiots, I'm not talking about the millions of people who put up karaoke videos and AMVs or whatever (those are pretty lame, but they don't make them idiots). I'm talking about the people who view videos, and leave stupid-ass comments. I guarantee that the majority of discussed YouTube videos will feature at least one of these comments: "gay", "fuck you", "ghey", "u suck", "homo", "stupid."

And they'll also put stuff like, "Thanks for wasting a minute of my life I'll never get back." Yeah, 'cause you were forced to view the video, right? "That wasn't funny." OMG, yeah, I uploaded the video to entertain solely you! "Gay." Shut up.

Fact #3: Grammar and spelling is overrated. Reading comprehension is underated.

I'm getting tired of these annoying asses who dis on people for their spelling and grammar if the message is easy to understand. Like if someone asks "can sum 1 help me wit this gaem" It's obvious the guy is asking for help with a game, but some idiot will be like, "Learn to use a dictionary" and not even answer the guy's question. Or they'll be like, "I don't understand a word you're saying." Yeah, 'cause you're a dumbass who doesn't know how to read and think for yourself. People have to actually spell things out for you.

And also, people make typos. Someone will say, "Is Super Paepr Mario a good game?" Someone will replay with "I've never heard of Super Paepr Mario. Super Paper Mario is a good game, though." Ugh. -_-

Fact #4: GameFAQs doesn't live up to its name

Wow, I'm complaining a lot about GameFAQs, huh?

It's called "GameFAQs", right? How come users there don't understand the meaning of the name? Someone will ask a common question on a game's message board, and the first 5 replies will be something along the lines of: "People need to stop asking this question", "Use search.", "This has been asked 324823049823094 times", "Read the FAQ", "You just suck at the game."

Hello...It's called GameFAQs. Frequently Asked Questions!!! Of course people are going to ask questions frequently! And with all the time they spent coming up with some clever way to say, "Use the search feature", they could've answered the guy's question.

Also, "use search" isn't always a viable option. The search engine sucks at finding specific things. You just have to hope someone out there is exactly like you and makes a topic featuring the same words you would search for.

Fact #5: J.R. can't remember what he was originally going to put for Fact #2

Seriously, it's bugging me...

OMFG, I BEAT IT! GAHAHHAHAHA! ...my hand hurts.

I got a B grade with a score of 574120. I got 312 300s, 47 100s, and 9 50s. My max combo was 211, and I only missed 2 markers.

I passed the first two acts, but failed the last one. But I still saved Earth from being pwned by a meteor.

Now I'm watching the credits...in Japanese...the only English name is "Dave Ventura." ...WTF? Or maybe it was "David"...oh, there goes a "MICO" and a "SONICA" and some :shogo.k". Hey, "HIDDEN FISH"!

K, there's more English than I thought...but not any that makes any sense.

I can't beat this, damn it! Once I finally get passed the first few acts, I get to a part I haven't done yet, and fail before I can even really try. I can't practice the parts I haven't gotten to yet! >< Plus, some parts that I have to do just don't go with the beat of the song with too few notes. I hear the song is easier in Hard mode...but to get Hard mode, I have to beat this on Normal. ><

Luckily, Ready Steady Go is a good song, so I don't mind hearing it 32094832094 times. But the intro is so damn long...

I'm listening to the IGN Wii-k in review...XFD. I love this stuff.

I'm going to Government class 20 minutes early.

I guess I'll try to go to sleep now. The Interweb is dead and there's nothing on TV ('cept Inuyasha...oh wait, still nothing on TV :P). Sleep time, yes? Or Castlevania time? Who knows?

I went to sleep at 7 PM, woke up at 1 AM. Now it's 3 AM, and I'm still awake. Gahhh. I'm listening to a Gamespot podcast right now. Uhh...

Well, so I got 6 hours of sleep, and if I sleep now, I'll get an extra 6 hours of sleep...and I probably STILL would be late for Government class. XD

But yeah, Gamespot's podcast is kinda okay. I still prefer IGN's Wii-k in Review, 'cause like... Matt Cassamassa-face is cool. Also, him and Bozon have teamed up with Craig Harris to form Team Nintendo IGN or something like that. Neat.

XD, now they're talking about Scorpion vs. Sub-Zero in the podcast. Sub-Zero pwns Scorpion, btw. I kinda have the feeling to play Mortal Kombat Mythologies right now...I was watching videos on YouTube from the game earlier. That game could've been so awesome...but you had to press a button to turn around. They should remake the game, but make it like Shaolin Monks.

House is on soon! WEEE!

Ughh...more PSP product placement. What happened to the DS?

Haha, Cameron's such a biz. I hope Chase makes her miserable.

Aww, crap. There's a "weather alert" marquee on the bottom of the screen. This better not be a repetition of two weeks ago.

Haha, this Chase fighting with Cameron stuff is much better than Chase having sex with Cameron stuff.

Cameron's being such a slut now, mackin' on little boys.

Aww, hellz yeah, Foreman is awesome. He's interrogating the dad. So these are the changes, huh? Chase becomes more clever, Cameron becomes a bizzy slut, and Foreman becomes more badass. Awesome. 'course, I'm still not too fond of slutty Cameron.

Awesome! House is watching TNA!

K, it's over. Neat.

Houseisms (not 100% accurate, 'cause I'd rather watch the show than type quotes):

House: Check for [sarcoidoises, blah blah blah]. Heck. Check all the oises!

Wilson: I didn't know you were seeing a patient.
House: This is an exam room. What did you think I was doing?
Wilson: What you usually do, hiding from Cuddy.
House: In here? There's a patient here!

House: "Never" is just "reven" spelled backwards!

Wilson: It is possible to have a friend of the opposite sex--
House: BLASPHEMER!

Cameron: Can't I at least--
House: Waste your time? Wouldn't recognize you if you didn't!

Wilson: You were right.
House: I know. What are we talking about?
Wilson: About Cuddy.
House: You want to see her naked.
Wilson: No. SHE wants to see ME naked. She sent me flowers. "Let's do it again. Soon. XX, Lisa." The X's are kisses, right?
House: No, I think they're hugs. O's are kisses.
Wilson: No, X's are kisses. "Soon" is its own sentence! *notices Cuddy* I gotta go.
Cuddy: What's the matter with Wilson?
House: He's a little freaked.
Cuddy: Why?
House: I sent him flowers.

House-to-Cameron: You did NOT just play the dead husband card.
House-to-father: My wife died because she signed a consent form I didn't want her to sign. DIED.

My blog is weird...I think. Most people's blogs contain reflective thoughts of the owners. Some deep stuff and personal questions. My blog has random stuff I find cool and new layouts every day. There's no actual SUBSTANCE to my blog. Heh. Kinda funny

Perhaps I'm just not a deep person, or maybe I don't want to present myself as a deep person 'cause that complicates things. I prefer being simple. Simple is nice. Yet, many will probably not find "simple" attractive. Some could picture be a "mysterious" figure or something 'cause I keep to myself a lot. I don't know. There's no mystery to me, is there? I'm just awesome. That's about all there is to it.

But maybe I'll start putting some actual content here. Like some dark, brooding stuff, or queries on life and why we are here? Questioning our purpose and stuff...

Nah, I'd rather rant about stupid annoying things in video games.

If you want that moody BS, go back into the archives and read stuff from when I was a lamer.

I revised the top menu bar. There are now links to my other sites up there. I'm really proud of that menu bar! It looks really cool.

And while I was at it, I decided to add comments again, just for the hell of it.

I also forgot to add date headers for all the entries. Well, they're back now!

Now, this layout was made for Macs in mind. The main font here is "Lucida Grande", and I don't think Windows computers come with that, so you'll probably see this in either Lucida Sans or Times New Roman. Someone send me a screenshot of what this blog looks like in Windows. I'm too lazy to reboot.

Obviously, this is a new blog layout. I'm not sure if I'm gonna end up using this or going back to the old one. I just worked really hard on this, and I wanted to use it to justify the time I used to make it.

I also took out comments 'cause no one ever comments anyway. >=[

I'm posting this here for future reference whenever I need to figure out what game I should get:

SNES
Star Fox

Wii
Super Paper Mario
The Godfather: Blackhand Edition

DS
Pokémon Diamond
Tetris DS

Playstation 2
Godhand
Okami
Final Fantasy XII
Tales of the Abyss
Guitar Hero II

Gamecube
Viewtiful Joe
Chibi Robo
Cubivore

Nintendo 64
Paper Mario

Xbox 360
Elderscrolls IV: Oblivion
Guitar Hero II (maybe)
Viva Pinata

Accessories
Wii Points Card
XBLA Points Card

Yes...new blog layout...but it's not here. It's here.

I was talking to Dillon about how fscked up Felix the Cat is, so here's a video of one of the cartoons I used to watch on some VHS tape with lots of cartoons. I need a VCR, 'cause I wanna watch them all again. =[

I'm bored, so here we go with some Paper Mario.

Like usual, I'm not gonna go in-depth with this game. I'm just gonna talk about stuff I can remember to talk about. Mainly what I like and dislike about the game.

I enjoy the battle system. This is what I love about Mario RPGs. The battles are interactive, and have you actually more involved in the battles. This isn't one of those lame "pick an option from a menu and watch it happen" RPGs. This is one of those "pick an option from a menu, then pay attention, do the command at the right time, and get rewarded for your skill" RPGs. That's why I loved FFVIII so much. 'cause it was a PAOFAMTPADTCATRTAGRFYSRPG. My favorite kind of RPG!

But...I also hate the battle system. Yes, there are lots of things with the battle system that are skill-based...then there are things with the battle system that are NOT skill-based and are totally random. These totally random things piss me off.

Twice have I been screwed over by the stupid "THREE POISON MUSHROOMS!" roulette! And many times have I lost HP from random stuff falling from the stage for no damn reason with no damn warning! That stuff is just stupid, and can seriously screw you over (especially that three poison mushroom thing...I've only gotten one Game Over so far, and that was thanks to THAT! ><

Okay, now that the people who haven't played Paper Mario are confused, I'll move on to something else (c'mon, seriously, all 2 of you who read this blog have already played Paper Mario!).

Goombella pwns all. She is awesome.

I bet Super Paper Mario is just hanging out at GameXchange/Wal-Mart, just waiting for me, while I'm hanging out at my house, waiting for my money to buy Super Paper Mario.

Remember when I said I wouldn't finish Gears of War until the patch was released? Remember when I got tired of waiting, and not only beat Gears, but got all the cog tags and beat the game again on Insane? Yeah, well...

Epic (or Microsoft certification) has FINALLY released the patch that they promised us two months ago (or was it three? I don't remember). Now the game runs at a full (or rather letterboxed) 720p glory! 'course...the game was supposed to look like this since its release last year. -_- But yeah, it looks beautiful. I might play through it again now that it looks prettyfulmore.

Oh yeah, they added a new multiplayer gametype that DOESN'T suck. It's Annex, kinda like Domination from UT, or King of the Hill, whatever. It's awesome, though, 'cause you can actually RESPAWN. Too bad I lag so damn much in the game. >< Seriously, I fire my gun, and 3 seconds later, the shots come out. And, damn it, people can kill me in three seconds, while I have to shoot them for a minute to kill them. GAHHH!

Check out my new desktop:

I finally got back around to playing Paper Mario again.

Just to show you guys who haven't played FF8 how badass the limit breaks were, here's a 19-minute-long YouTube video of most, if not all the limit breaks in the game. 'course, I don't think this includes the special Renzokuken sequences for certain bosses, but I haven't finished the video yet. :P

(Edit: I just finished the video, and it does have the alternate Renzokuken animations, also, I love "The End" of the movie. :P I always accidentally skipped over that limit break. ><)

Oh yeah... SPOILERS

People on LUE were discussing FF8 and how to get through without leveling up 'cause it makes the game harder or something. I knew that monsters got stronger as you did, but I didn't know it made the game HARDER. I leveled up as much as I could (though I didn't do that much grinding, from what I remember), but I didn't go out of my way to avoid getting EXP.

I leveled up, and I found the game pretty easy, as long as I abused limit breaks (kept Squall in critical status [yellow HP], cast Aura on him, make him blind, mash Triangle 'til the Limit Break popped up, then Renzokuken'd the monsters' asses! Then if you're lucky, BAM Lion Heart!). And there was Zell's "keep doing Punch Rush and Booya over and over and over again" Limit Break. I pwned that game pretty easy. It was the first FF I ever beat.

Check out step 23.

Crap. I was watching the new episode of House on Fox, when suddenly I get a "Fox 4 Weather Alert" and now I'm watching a map of a bunch of counties and stuff for a severe storm occurring in Dallas or something. The storm is moving South...Paris is North of Dallas. I WANNA WATCH HOUSE!

good gaem. buy it and play.

macs r so dumb as i have come 2 realize. ive got a cuple or reasons y this is tru

first look at the picture its so big and ugly. color? color is for babies. pc is better. beige is a good color for computing your megahurts. aslo look at the screen. its 2 big and bulky. mac would be better if it had an LSD moniter. but noooo. mac is stuck in the times.

also macs dose not have 2 mouse buttons. you cant riteclick on a mac no matter wut u do! now you cant cut and paste on those things for easy web surfing.

also macs dont have any games. want to play sims? 2 bad. u have to get a windows comp. how 'bout unreal tournment? no way hosey. windows only. i here that some macs can run windows now. thats good. now mac losers can use the better operatin system.

alos macs have teh button on the left. wuts u wit that?

finally macs are liek ipods becuz they dont have as much ram. u actually have to download more into the megaurtz. on windows, the mega hurts is already downloaded 2 begin with. no hassle to make your computer run like a cat.

next there is no way to go in the internet on a mac. it dosnt have internet xplorer! how are u supposed to go to websites without that? u cant, thats what. so again. mac is stuck in the times. internet is the future of computers. how are u going to download ram without internet anyawy? see it doesnt even make sense.

there u have it. mac < windows

i cant wait 4 new greys anatomy. moooch bettar den house cuz he is n asshole. tho i do liek that chase and cameran are havn sex.

i decided that i m going to sell my wii and 360 in order 2 buy a playstatin 3

i have realized taht teh ps3 is the best nextgen console evar. y? becuz it has teh best gamez. it haz cool gamez like metal grea sold 4 and final fentesy 12. kingdom hurts 3 is also ps3 xclusive. also, devel may cry 4 will be ps3 exclusve as well. i also cant wait for the new zelda game on the ps3. it will be much better than teh zelda on teh wii, 'cause the ps3 will use the sixasix for superior controllers!!1

teh 360 id lame as well cuz it doesnt have as much grafix as ps3. the wii doesnt even come close cuz it only has rf cablez or somethin. i also tink that the wii is only good 2 play nintendo 64 game lol. n no it has les than 64 game cuz bungie is not making halo 4 it like they are for the ps3.

i m also going to sell my ds to get a psp. it has bettar pokemon gmaez.

nintendo and micro$ft are dumb. sony is best! winner!

AWW SO KAWIII!!111!!1

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mood: bored

hay guyz. i m realy bord rite now. i cant think of n e thing 2 do. so i guess ill tyep sum more stuff here cuz i know u all want 2 know all about me. i m single azn. hawtness. looking for teh sex0rz with teh hawt femalez. gimme call. my cell number iz here ask me 2 it. lol laterz.

mood: hapiness

wowz i m so in luv with this 1 gurl. she is so kawaii!! omg i wuv wuv wuv her. 2 bad she dosnt no it. oh wellz. therell never b a chance n e way cuz she hates me

realizing taht makes me very very sad. wah. i wanna cry. i m crying. i think ill finish what i started from my last post. goodbye world.

mood: depressd

wah my comp is bein slow n stuf. it makes me rely sad. i think i m going 2 have 2 kill myself becuz of it it. goodbye worldz.