Well, Aivee's been begging me to put this entry up, so I guess I will now.

A few nights ago, I had a lot of trouble sleeping. I mean a lot. The reason for this was...I was thinking. I thought too much about stuff, like the past, especially missed opportunities.

I remembered a time I asked Laci to see The Grudge with me. She agreed to see it with me. I thought, "Whoa, cool," 'cause I had somewhat of a crush on her at the time. We saw the movie together, but I didn't say a thing to her throughout the whole thing. I felt like a loser, 'cause I might as well had just seen it alone. After the movie, we agreed that the movie was pretty lame, and we were still kinda bored. So we went to see the Incredibles right after. And, yet again, I said very little. The theater was almost empty. She was single at the time (kinda), so I could've made a move. I SHOULD have made a move. If I had, I probably would've been very happy about the outcome... But I didn't make a move. Why? I thought too much. I worried about her attachment to her ex-boyfriend. She had quite an attachment to him, 'cause all she could really talk about was him and revenge against the girl he was dating and stuff like. Thinking about that made me worry, so I never made a move. After the movie, I could tell she still wanted to do something. But, I didn't say much. If my life were a romantic movie, that would've been the ideal time to make a move. Engage in making out with her or something. I don't know. I knew she was into that kinda thing, so she wouldn't have minded at all. But I didn't do shit. So we parted there.

So that night I had trouble sleeping, this was on my mind. Thoughts of what could have been, and how miserable I feel because I didn't take a certain course of action. The thought kept me up until 5 AM.

Actually, that wasn't the only thing that kept me up. There were other thoughts of the past that made me angry at myself. I never disclosed my feelings about Kara (crush), and missed out on asking her to the prom my junior year. I missed out on asking Natalie to the prom this year. The shitty end to my romantic relationship with Jessica. My inability to start another relationship with another girl... so many things to keep a socially-inept individual up.

So there you have, it Aivee. You happy now? I'm certainly not, as this entry conveys. Don't worry, though. It's not your fault. :P