Man, I feel horrible. Instead of writing about my day, I'm just gonna rant about shiz.

First of all: relationships. Sexual relationships. Relationships with the opposite sex. Relationships beyond simple "friendship." Ugh. This kind crap annoys me to no end. Sometimes I wish there was a way to disable the desire to pursue such relationships. Of course, then what would be the point of living if I couldn't love? Bah, see? That's the desire talking!

My "love life" is terrible, man. All the girls I'm interested in are not interested in me. The only girls interested in me are girls I'm not interested in. WTF is up with that? Must irony be so prevalent in my life? GEHH! The thing is that I'm looking for a girl who share interests with me. You know, fascination with technology, a gamer, interest in the Japanese culutre...crap like that. Well, it turns out the majority of the girls like that are either taken or just unattractive by other means. It's not just about looks either. They might be ugly, they might be super annoying, they might talk too much, they might talk too little, they might be pyschos. Crap like that. It's almost as if I'm stuck with "left overs." Yes, that's a horrible thing to say, but it's an analogy I can use and it makes sense.

There are also other girls I'm attracted to, but not because of similar interests. It's either the fact that they're "nice girls" or they're really hawt. This is also difficult. Because of a lack of shared interests, it's difficult to engage in conversation...and I geek out all the time...

Man, I friggin' HATE geeking out! I define "geeking out" as talking about geeky things, especially with someone who couldn't give a crap. Maybe I'm talking about how awesome Katamari Damacy is, or explaining my love for E.S. Posthumus. They don't care and I end up looking and feeling like a complete idiot. It's just that I feel some mild desire to have others know me better, but I force it on them like a moose.

This is what I get for being a friggin' geek. An younger, and unattractive geek, to boot. I could probably get a girl if I went after girls a bit younger than me, 'cause then I'd either find girls who are ideal for me, or just girls who are desperate to date "mature" (older) guys. But I can't do that. That means I'd have to actually go out and meet girls. How the hell am I gonna do that? I can't go back to school (they'd kick me off campus, like they did Heath). There aren't any "hang out" places in Paris. I'm not going to Wal-Mart to pick up chicks.

Ah, perhaps this is another reason I want to work at GameXchange. I want to meet girls...with similar interests. Now, I can't exactly hang out at GameXchange without seeming like a total weirdo. Becoming an employee would totally give me a valid excuse to hang there all the time and meet geek girls.

I suppose there are plenty of aspects that I should change in order to fix my so-called "love life." People will tell me that...then they'll tell me crap like, "Be yourself." Which one is, it folks? Be someone different or be myself to find love? I suppose you only say "Be yourself" to make me feel better, 'cause if you told me "Be someone else" I'd feel horrible for obvious reasons.

I just sighed. Yeah. This sucks.