iJar

Thursday, April 06, 2006

A "talk"

10:22 PM

Ugh. My dad just gave me another talk, this one much worse than last time. He was asking about me being late today. He got really mad at me, and when the school called to inform him of my absence first period, he somehow mistook it for a message that said I would be kicked out of school if I didn't bring a note. I tried to explain the whole "excused" and "unexcused" absence thing, but he said "You're only excuse is you're stupid." -_-

So now he's basically threatening to take away my computer again. If he gets involved in my life like this again, I might go back into that whole "depression" state. My computer has nothing to do with this!

He gave some silly speech about how our lives need to change, particularly mine. He went on about how I haven't washed the dishes since he asked us to, and got mad at me for not doing it last night. That's not fair! His terms were this: "If you're the last person to eat and place your dishes in the sink, wash the dishes." Last night, he was the last person to eat. He went on about how I need to take "initiative" and I need to change now. He obviously understands that we need to change, but he doesn't comprehend the subject of "transition." He's given us only two days to change our ways. Two days to overwrite 18 years of lifestyle. You can't expect this crap instantly! And no one's taught me how to cook rice yet or use the washing machine! I keep asking, but no one's taking the "initiative" and teaching me the essential skills in life.

I'm going to church Saturday at 5:30 PM. I just need to remind myself that. My dad had the audacity to tell me to "go back to God." I never left God! I just never went to church! And he even told me that I need to go to church and pray for my mother. I pray for her every night in my bed! I don't need to be at church to do that!

But yeah, the talk was overall stupid and stuff I already knew, or stuff I didn't want to know.

I'm really sad about my mom being in the hospital. I am perfectly willing to change due to her illness, and to help her out and stuff, but not this way. Not with people allowing me to change at my own pace or misunderstanding the reasoning behind my actions...and not with people threatening to remove my computer from my room.