I'm not telling you to get rid of your Wii. I'm telling you to get a PS3 or 360 to compliment your Wii. Stop being a whiney bitch and embarrassing yourself by clammering for crappy versions of 360/PS3 games.

Recently, Capcom announced Street Fighter IV for the 360, PS3, and PC. Honestly, who expected anything more than that? Wii-only owners, obviously, and boy, are they outraged. They really want that watered-down port of a game that their console cannot handle. I mean, I bet the Wiimote+Nuncuk doesn't even have enough buttons for it, but I bet they'd be find with waggling their remotes. But, really, why on earth would an HD, high-end game NOT go to a non-HD, low-end console?

The same thing happened with Resident Evil 5 when (surprise) it was announced only for 360 and PS3 (and probably PC somewhere down the line). Again, Wii owners wanted a crappy, watered-down port on their system. What the hell?

Oh, hey, guess what? They finally get a watered-down, crappy port on their system. It's called Rock Band. Wait, they complain about that and now they're not getting it, 'cause they're getting a watered-down, crappy port of Guitar Hero: World Tour.

Seriously, stop embarrassing yourselves, guys. Stop saying you want crappy versions of games. Go get another console for the better versions of these games.

You know, with all the shovelware the Wii gets, I'd expect the Wii owners to really want a game that's been given tender, loving care, built just for the Wii. I'd expect Nintendo fans to want SOUL in their games. But here they are, wanting Capcom to strip the soul out of their games, get them to throw away all their hard work on the higher-end consoles, and slap it on the Wii. The Wii fanboys say that there's a good reason they should do this: money. The Wii fanboys are constantly whining about, "THE WII MAKES THE MOST MONEY! WHY DON'T THEY MAKE GAMES FOR THE WII! IT'S LIKE FREE MONEY!" And then suddenly, someone like Ubisoft comes in, making crappy games like "Petz" and the Wii fanboys complain, "ALL THEY'RE DOING IS CASHIN-IN WITH THESE CRAPPY GAMES." Hey, that sounds familiar...didn't you want Capcom to do that with their games? So it's okay if Capcom does it and not Ubisoft?

Oh, no, wait. Ubisoft said they weren't releasing Prince of Persia or Beyond Good and Evil for the Wii, but they still want it. Bah, the cycle continues.

I don't hate the Wii. I love it. I love the stuff that the Wii gets, the stuff that's built with the Wii in mind. REAL Wii games, not ports from other consoles. If all theses Wii owners are spending 40 bucks on crappy ports of Okami, and 90 bucks on Wii Fit, why can't they save up some more money and buy a damn 360!? That would be a better investment, 'cause they're obviously interested in the 360's games... Plus, yeah, non-crappy online. Hah, yeah, you saw that coming. I have to work that into every Nintendo rant.

But I recently had the brilliant idea of calling "HEAVY MACHINE GUN." So I'm calling that from now on...or maybe, "ROCKET LAWN-CHAIR."

Imagine the possiblities! Obviously, people will make phallic imagery with legs, but there's more you can do than that! You could make Pokemon! A MUDKIP! I cannot wait for this game to come out. Luckily, the creature creator itself will be available this month. I really hope my Macbook can run it!

There was a time when Japan was king of video games. Kinda weird how that time has passed, huh? Now the Xbox 360 is the dominating "hardcore" system (yeah, I'm not counting the Wii in this), even though it's a huge failure in Japan. And Japanese developers are flocking to the 360, as well. What's up with that?

Even then, their games are distinctly Japanese, with their random battles, turn-based combat, anime girly men, while the Westerners have their online play, drop-in/drop-out co-op, cover systems, GUN SHOOTING THAT DOESN'T SUCK. But they're changing things up now. It looks like the Japanese are trying to emulate the Westerners now. MGS4 has a (convoluted) online mode. The Silent Hill guys are actually outsourcing their Silent Hill games to Western developers. Capcom's making games like Lost Planet and Dead Rising, and Resident Evil 5 is now rumored to have a cover system and co-op modes.

Like I said in a previous post, Hideo Kojima himself admitted


Dillon also told me this one story he read about in some magazine about how Kojima's development team thought a certain thing impossible, only to see that Assassin's Creed had pulled it off successfully. I guess that's why Altair is in MGS4.

We all know Itagaki is in love with Microsoft. He went as far as to dis the PS3 version of Ninja Gaiden. He also loves GTA IV and Rockstar (probably 'cause he himself thinks he is a rock star >_>).

Speaking of rock, check out Rock Band and Guitar Hero. We all know that Konami started it all with GuitarFreaks in Japan, right? Well, Guitar Hero/Rock Band is the big thing, and Konami is just now trying to capitalize on it with Rock Revolution, and it's clear that it's not up to snuff to the music games born in the West (no vocals, all songs are covers, blah blah blah).

The big thing, I believe, that separates the West and Japan in games is online functionality. Check out Xbox Live. That's how online should be done. PSN is not nearly as convenient as XBL, and don't get me started on how crappy the Wii's online is right now. Microsoft gets it, Sony is getting it (thanks to Microsoft), and Nintendo just doesn't care (which is why I'm pretty much leaving them out after this. Yeah I just wanted to dis on Nintendo's online again :P).

Konami really messed up with Metal Gear online. I haven't played it myself, but I've heard reliable stories of needing at least 3 online IDs and passwords just to play the game. It's crazy stuff, man. Oh yeah, don't get me started on those Friend Codes on Nintendo's side of things.

But yeah...the weaboos may deny it, but the West, in my eyes, are the kings of gaming now. Don't get me wrong, though. I still love Nintendo, Capcom, Konami. I'm just saying it's pretty weird how things have turned up. I'm pretty sure that the Japanese will catch up to the West pretty soon. Then it'll be closer again. Hell, I bet the Japanese will probably come back out on top again...if they want to advance beyond where they are now.

So, in summary, Nintendo, get off your ass, release a hard drive for the Wii, and make your online work.

I'm not really sure why.

Check it.

And no, I don't mean "fixing" as in giving into the whiney demands of taking away features and making it only for college students again. I'm talking about making it less messy. All the Applications and crap will still be there, but just on a separate page from your main profile. I'm going to enjoy this very much.

See that up there? That's MadWorld, a newly announced game for the Wii, brought to you buy Platinum Games, which is what used to be Clover Studios.

Why is it awesome? Is it because of the art style? It's cool, but that's not it. The over-the-top violence? Still very cool, but that's not it either. It's the fact that it stars a buff manly man. More games need buff manly men!

There are way too many girly guys in video games. Japan seems to be in love with them, as they're always throwing in long-haired, "beautiful" men in the starring roles of their games. Well, Platinum Games (a Japanese studio) isn't gonna have any of that! They're throwin' in Buff Manly Man to tear out some hearts, impale people on spikes, and cut through them with chainsaws. Awesome.

Even Konami's getting a bit better at this...'cause the next Castlevania game stars an actual girl! ...yes, the girl isn't a manly man, but it's not a girly man either, which has been a Castlevania-favorite since Symphony of the Night. But, I hope they will some day get back to using the barbarian-like Belmonts of the old days. They were cool.

Kojima was recently quoted in saying that he believes that Western developers have surpassed Japanese developers. I'm inclined to agree. Not just because the Western guys have the knack for having the best graphics, the best physics, the best online, the lack of random battles, but because we accept the fact that manly men are awesome. Examples being Kratos, the Cole Train, Batman, Scorpion... Yeah, AWESOME.

Those Cho-Aniki guys were onto something.

Harmonix was all awesome and brought us Rock Band. Then Activision says they're bringing Guitar Hero IV. Now Konami wants to complicate things even more with Rock Revolution.

Man, WTF? Now there are gonna be all these different games and peripherals out and it's gonna create a huge problem on which one to buy and stick with, 'cause I'm NOT going to own 3 different fake drum sets. I also don't want to have to rebuy DLC songs for another game.

I actually beat it a few hours ago, but I beat it again just recently to get the other ending. I had so much trouble with the last mission, and I was so happy when I finally finished it! ...but then I realized I'd have to do it again (slightly altered) for the second ending. >< But I did it. Wooo.

Now I can play through the game for achievements and such. There's also more multiplayer.